totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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