her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
