so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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