I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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