Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the day after is always just damage control
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she pinky promised me she was 18
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
