I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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