How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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