i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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