So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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