Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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