Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
