you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hippo gnu deer
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
