How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
