If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize