WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it's like iHOP with fire
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
