I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
operation harelip BJ is a go
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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