READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize