they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
