So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
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did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
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my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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