My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
