Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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