4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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