On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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