Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
