Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I will pee on everything he values.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
