thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
