I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
