So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
COCAINE IS GR8
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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