i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
