i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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