saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
