I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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