Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
bring money and cleavage
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
