Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
