you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i wish my penis had a tongue
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
