I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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