Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
