I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
handjob tips. give me some.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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