Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
