you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
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Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
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I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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