You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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