can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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