Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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