She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
