I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
