Pappa wants mamma naked
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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