I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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