check it out our google latitudes are spooning
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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