Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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