Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize