I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
