think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
