Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
