I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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