I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize