Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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