Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
