Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
