Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
