Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Randomize
