just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
