forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize