TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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