I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
