he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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