oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
the liver wants what the liver wants
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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