wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
