Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
