there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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