he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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