Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Drake has all the answers
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
