No, drunk sperm still make babies.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
