i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
