better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
