ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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