so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
